Structure

David is at the age now where distractions are a less effective option for drawing his attention away from something that he wants.

You would think that distractions would be easier in a public setting, like Target.  But really, getting in and out of Target with a grumpy toddler is like navigating a field of land mines (while cajoling, consoling, scolding a wiggly, 30 lb person).  The distractions can quickly become the problem, or in our case, the next object of desire.

It's even more complicated in a grocery store, when every shelf has it's own siren call.  I won't go into detail because I'm still too embarrassed to discuss our latest outing, but I'll confess that I crashed into rocks (other people's shopping carts) not once, but twice, because I am a champion shopper and mother.  If the ground could have opened up and swallowed me, I would have jumped in with both feet.

Most of the time, D is very good when we go out or have people over.  He's helpful, and if I've had enough forethought to pack snacks and toys in my purse, he's usually good to go.  But he is two now, and with that comes a new-found possessiveness for things and mommy.

It's very, very interesting.

When you're trying to figure out which strategies work best on your child, it's difficult to be consistent with things like discipline, at first.  I think we've finally found a groove that works: for a little boy who wants to be at the center of all action, time-outs are enough to make his world stop.  He is beginning to realize that his actions have consequences; both good and bad.

All of the time, energy and thought that has gone into figuring out how best to discipline our child has got me thinking about our primary source of truth and direction when it comes to growing and maturing our family in its faith, and for D, his basic development into adulthood.  I've observed God exercising discipline in our lives because there have been times when that was the most loving and just option.  Firm, loving, consistent guidance is all evidence that our Father loves us and cares about the choices we make and the people we become.  This is what I'm trying to keep in mind with David.  At times, it is very hard and very inconvenient.  But, upon looking back at the parenting choices of his namesake, King David, it is clear that lack of discipline can cause serious havoc on a family and even a nation.    

So I've had to ask myself in moments where I fear that my rebukes will be used as fodder for David's future therapy sessions, "Is it kinder to teach him patience and selflessness by making him wait to play with toy x while you endure a temporary fit, or is it kinder to teach him impatience and self-centeredness by caving and giving him what he wants when he whines and cries.  Are you raising a man or a cat?"

Tonight, my boy sat in time-out twice, very briefly.  Each time he was told why he was there and each time he got up, he apologized, and was forgiven and told that he was loved, very much.  We exchanged hugs and kisses and I'm fairly confident that each session wouldn't warrant any future discussions with a psychiatrist.

Everything about parenting is a process.  I'm so thankful that God has given us structure to pass along to our kids to help them feel loved, be successful, minimize frustration and grow in their faith and integrity.  I'm equally thankful for the grace He extends to us as we try to do so.