The 100% Perfect Girl

Something strange happened the other night:

I was up late [LATE], winding down from the day and listening to This American Life--an episode called Crush, as I cleaned paint off my hands.  Act III, the final act, was called, "On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One April Morning."  It was written by Haruki Murakami but read by a decidedly American actor named Matt.  It started out innocently enough:

"One beautiful April morning,

upon a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harajuku neighborhood,

I walk past the 100% perfect girl.

'Tell you the truth, she's not that good looking.

She doesn't stand out in any way.

Her clothes are nothing special.

The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep."

I thought, "she sounds nice, and relatable."

And then he said it:

"She isn't young either--must be, close to 30..."

I kid you not, I actually heard a record scratch in my head.  The rest of the podcast sounded like a muted trombone.  I stopped what I was doing to feel insulted.

Before I let myself resent Matt the innocent narrator and scathe Haruki Murakami, I thought through a couple of scenarios: 

1. Maybe Haruki is some 10 year old boy-genius author who thinks that anyone over 20 is old.

2. Maybe Matt is taking an unnecessary artistic liberty and saying '30' to be smug, or to exact revenge on an ex-love interest who is about to turn 30.  

3.  And the worst scenario of all, maybe I've been operating under the illusion that 30 is still 'young' when it really isn't.  

***

Have you ever been thrown into a body of water, and in order to get your bearings, to get a sense of direction, you had to watch the bubbles rise?  I imagined myself surfacing to a generation of writers wearing ironic T-shirts that read, "How can I help y... oh wait, you're pushing 30?  You're past your prime.  Good luck."

I get hyperbolic when it's late.

I know what you're thinking.  But she's his 100% perfect girl!  Her looks and age don't matter because he's in love with her!  He even sounds surprised because this girl doesn't sound like the girl he expected to be his 100% perfect girl, which makes him sound more sincere.  All of this is false.  Better yet, it's fiction.

I'll confess that I let this ONE line of fiction bend me out of shape for about seven minutes.  Oh vanity.  I'm not 30, but it's on the horizon, and I certainly don't feel old.  But instead of mentally drafting a letter to Haruki Murakami about perspective, I thought about the good things that come with age and aging things.  Good wine, good literature, wisdom, experience, relationships, compassion.  Then I looked back through some old photos of Jon and myself when we were dating.

2007--very early in our engagement

Our hair was darker, we were thinner.  We were obnoxiously rested...  

I will always have a special place in my heart for 2007 Jon and Jenn, but I really love 2012 Jon and Jenn.  Pushing 30 and all.  With toddler.

When I turn 30, I'll write a post about the merits of being 30 and invite Haruki Murakami to read it.  Until then, I'm going to sleep before I find myself listening to another life disrupting episode of This American Life...  I do love that show.  

  

Thanksgiving Recipes

Thanksgiving is one of our favorite holidays in the Pagan household.

We're thankful for so many things this year: a nice variety of residency interviews over the next several weeks, good health, good friends and family, the freedom and resources to enjoy artsy things, and, per David, big tigers.

Over the last few days I've been surfing the net looking for new recipes to try between now and Christmas.  Then I thought, why not share some staple holiday recipes from our kitchen?  Here are some of the dishes that we  look forward to making all year:

Therein lies the [turkey] rub
I know it sounds un-American, but we just cooked a turkey breast this year...  in a cooking bag in the oven.  It sounds ridiculous, but we're just less wasteful this way.  We don't eat legs or wings, and we've discovered that the bag keeps the meat really, really moist.  Also, no basting.  Amen.  But you can't just throw the bird in the bag, then in the oven.  No.  You need a rub, as well as some onions, celery and carrots.  Here is the link to the turkey rub recipe I've used for the last four years.

Pumpkin-y, with just a touch of chiffon
Last year, we hit the pumpkin pie wall.  We wanted to try something different and I knew our oven would be occupied all of thanksgiving day.  I stumbled upon this pumpkin chiffon pie recipe, and I used the crust recipe from the Pioneer Woman.  Try not to eat all of the crust before you fill it with the pumpkin mixture.  This pie is even better the next day.

Auntie Rhonda's Famous Sweet Potato Casserole
I don't have a link for this, but it doesn't matter.  These sweet potatoes turned me from a woman who actively avoided sweet potatoes in the produce section to a woman who just finished eating a bowl for dessert a moment ago.  Thank you, Auntie Rhonda!

Ingredients

• 4 cups sweet potato, cubed
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 4 tablespoons butter, softened
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

1.   Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Put sweet potatoes in a medium saucepan with water to cover. Cook over medium high heat until tender; drain and mash (I mashed with a mixer – then beat in the items listed below)

2.   In a large bowl, mix together the sweet potatoes, sugar, eggs, salt, butter, milk and vanilla. Mix until smooth. Transfer to a 9x13 inch baking dish.

3.   Bake in the preheated oven 30 minutes, add mini marshmellows when there is about 10 minutes left.

Jenn's garlic mashed potatoes
Very garlic-y.  Very whippy.  Very tasty.

Ingredients

• 8 red potatoes (skin on)
• 8 cloves of garlic (smashed)
• 1 stick of butter
• 1/4 C milk... or half & half.... or heavy cream if you want to get crazy
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Pinch of white pepper (a little goes a long way)

Directions  

1. Quarter the potatoes and boil along with garlic in large pot until tender
2. Drain, do not rinse, and return to the pot (turn heat off)
3. Add butter, milk, salt and peppers, then mash (I use a hand mixer)
4. Transfer to serving dish and enjoy!

Jenn's college green beans
These are the green beans that my college roommate introduced me to back in 2006 (thanks Amanda!). We really, really like them.

Ingredients

• Mess of green beans (this is a unit of measure in the South)
• 8 cloves of garlic (coarsely chopped)
• 1 small package of sliced almonds (or any kind of almonds--they're all good)
• 4 turns of extra virgin olive oil
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions  

1. Blanch green beans in boiling water for three minutes.  While beans are boiling, heat a large skillet on medium heat.
2. Drain, rinse and transfer to bowl of ice water--cold shock and awe
3. Throw the beans in the hot skillet and add the olive oil, salt and pepper
4. Cook for 5-7 minutes (I like mine more crisp), then add almonds and garlic and cook another 1-2 minutes to desired softness. 

There you have it!  Our stuffing, cranberry sauce, rolls, etc. weren't noteworthy enough to post, but I'm definitely open to suggestions if you have any ideas for next year!

Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving too!  

Structure

David is at the age now where distractions are a less effective option for drawing his attention away from something that he wants.

You would think that distractions would be easier in a public setting, like Target.  But really, getting in and out of Target with a grumpy toddler is like navigating a field of land mines (while cajoling, consoling, scolding a wiggly, 30 lb person).  The distractions can quickly become the problem, or in our case, the next object of desire.

It's even more complicated in a grocery store, when every shelf has it's own siren call.  I won't go into detail because I'm still too embarrassed to discuss our latest outing, but I'll confess that I crashed into rocks (other people's shopping carts) not once, but twice, because I am a champion shopper and mother.  If the ground could have opened up and swallowed me, I would have jumped in with both feet.

Most of the time, D is very good when we go out or have people over.  He's helpful, and if I've had enough forethought to pack snacks and toys in my purse, he's usually good to go.  But he is two now, and with that comes a new-found possessiveness for things and mommy.

It's very, very interesting.

When you're trying to figure out which strategies work best on your child, it's difficult to be consistent with things like discipline, at first.  I think we've finally found a groove that works: for a little boy who wants to be at the center of all action, time-outs are enough to make his world stop.  He is beginning to realize that his actions have consequences; both good and bad.

All of the time, energy and thought that has gone into figuring out how best to discipline our child has got me thinking about our primary source of truth and direction when it comes to growing and maturing our family in its faith, and for D, his basic development into adulthood.  I've observed God exercising discipline in our lives because there have been times when that was the most loving and just option.  Firm, loving, consistent guidance is all evidence that our Father loves us and cares about the choices we make and the people we become.  This is what I'm trying to keep in mind with David.  At times, it is very hard and very inconvenient.  But, upon looking back at the parenting choices of his namesake, King David, it is clear that lack of discipline can cause serious havoc on a family and even a nation.    

So I've had to ask myself in moments where I fear that my rebukes will be used as fodder for David's future therapy sessions, "Is it kinder to teach him patience and selflessness by making him wait to play with toy x while you endure a temporary fit, or is it kinder to teach him impatience and self-centeredness by caving and giving him what he wants when he whines and cries.  Are you raising a man or a cat?"

Tonight, my boy sat in time-out twice, very briefly.  Each time he was told why he was there and each time he got up, he apologized, and was forgiven and told that he was loved, very much.  We exchanged hugs and kisses and I'm fairly confident that each session wouldn't warrant any future discussions with a psychiatrist.

Everything about parenting is a process.  I'm so thankful that God has given us structure to pass along to our kids to help them feel loved, be successful, minimize frustration and grow in their faith and integrity.  I'm equally thankful for the grace He extends to us as we try to do so.    

      

Fall

Source

Arkansas looks unreal right now.  It is beautiful, like a woman is beautiful.

I’m not sure if my emotions were heightened because today is the day of the election, or if today was just a particularly nice day (meteorologically speaking), but I was affected by what I took in on my short little drive to the polls.  So much so, that I was having a hard time keeping my eyes on the road.

If you drive through Arkansas this time of year, you will understand when I tell you that the scenery is striking.  It is so beautiful, that it’s distracting. 

For those of you that have ever been in love, do you remember that feeling that you got when you realized that you may actually have a shot at a future with someone you found so enchanting and challenging and beautiful?  If it’s possible to feel similarly about a place, I think I’ve arrived at those feelings.  I love this time of year, and even though I know I should keep an open mind, the thought of moving back here after residency makes me very happy.  As I drove in town to vote this morning, I kept thinking, “I can’t believe that I get to live here.”

We are a family of fortunate souls.  Arkansas, je t’aime.