On: Our son, David...

As a husband it is a very unique experience having your wife be pregnant.  I could write many blog posts about the experience ranging from my 10 pound weight gain to the experience of literally having less room, well, everywhere.  However, this post is about the connection that Mother and son experience in utero.  I've watched as Jenn has grown to epic proportions (of cuteness) and am constantly amazed at what I now truly see as the miracle of life.  I can't help sometimes feel a little jealous.  I get to feel him kick a few times a day, but she gets to feel everything: his turns, jabs, hiccups, rolls and slides.  Don't get me wrong, I am keenly aware that my wife is the far better choice for this role, but you get my point.

This brings us to today.  We were blessed this last week with the opportunity to get whats called a 4-D ultrasound.  For those of you wondering what that means, it means that we would be able to see our child in the x,y, z and t :)  Put more simply, in three dimensions and in live motion.  I'd seen samples online and was prepared, or so I thought, to have Jenn show me the pictures of our son.  Truly, I was not prepared.  I imagine second to standing in the delivery room and welcoming him to the world in 50 days plus or minus, seeing these pictures was life changing.

So without further ado, here is our son, David.

Isn't he amazing!!  As Jenn so humbly puts it, "The cutest baby in the world!!"  :)

I wasn't sure how I would feel as a father having the chance to see these pictures, but it did something I didn't expect.  It allowed me to connect with him in an extremely visceral way.  So yes, I don't feel all the movements, but now I can picture him.  I can see that he got his mom's cheeks, a combination of our noses, and my lips.  I can spend these final weeks of the pregnancy, picturing him as I pray for him, and as I feel him have the hiccups almost every night.

He is amazing, and I can't wait to meet him.  I thought I would close with our personal favorite.  Here is a picture of our son smiling.  If you look at the left of the screen you can see a wall that represents Jenn.  I can't help but think that he is smiling because he is cuddling with his Mom.  Well David, she has smiled every day for the last 8 months thinking of you.  David, we love you and we'll meet you soon!

On: Playing with my son

So by now I'm thinking that most of you were able to see the video of our son kicking, but just in case here it is again.



Up until now, as a father, admittedly the pregnancy has been kind of surreal and slightly detached.  As in, I know my wife is pregnant, but because its not me there is a level of detachment.  A couple nights ago I had an experience that changed that.  For the first time I got to play with David.  Granted it was a rather simple game, but it was one of the more amazing experiences in my life thus far.  It was a simple push, push back game.  For a good five minutes every time I would push in a certain spot towards either his foot or hand, he would respond by pushing back.  I've never had so much fun with such a simple game!!

I think to myself, if playing with him like this is this much fun, how much more fun will it be once he is born?  Wow.  We are looking at T-minus 3 months!!

The Week in Quotes

• "I'm tired of English." Jon's final thought after berating the English spelling of "singed."

• "I am NOT forfeiting this cake!" Jenn's declaration to Jon, complete with threatening fork action, after Jon attempted to move the last piece of cake to his plate. Had Jenn been less possessive/reactionary, she would have discovered that Jon intended to share.

• "Those weasels smell." Jon commenting on the stench from the ferret rotunda at the entrance of Petco.

Matt. Geraldo. America.

Today is the 4th of July, otherwise known as the day my mother brought my brother into the world:) Matt, I know you've been slaving away to finish your classes, so when you get the chance to come up out of your books for air here is a post dedicated just for you:

Let me start by first acknowledging that my brother shares a birthday with the likes of Japanese shoguns, Romanian bacteriologists and Flemish linguists/archeologists. Since naming all of them would not add to the value of this honorary post, but because some of them have such fantastic image results on Google, I've listed a few recent celebrities with whom my brother shares his special day:

1. America

As seen from a NASA perspective.

2. Rube Goldberg

Famous for sketching complicated inventions for doing simple tasks (I like to think that his cartoons were the inspiration for modern bureaucracy. Stand in line at any DMV and see if you agree.)

3. Malia Obama

Oldest daughter of President Obama and newest member on the list of celebrity birthdays.

4. Gloria Stuart

The endearing, elderly woman from Titanic who thought her $10K necklace would serve a better purpose at the bottom of the ocean.

5. Geraldo Rivera

Ambitious TV personality, news reporter, talk show host. I don't know what to say about this image, but it is definitely my favorite (insert dialogue bubble near his mouth about bullets whizzing past his head).

6. George Murphy

Dancer, actor and US Senator from CA. Proof that the child who wants to be a ballerina-archeologist-novelist can, in fact, be all three.

7. Calvin Coolidge

30th US president and owner of serious hats.

8. Abigail Van Buren and Ann Landers

Twin advice columnists who single-handedly (double handedly?) proved that women of a certain age could look fetchin' in high-collar, long-sleeved dresses.

And of course, you have my brother.

This picture was taken about two years ago shortly after Matt, Jon and I suffered through one of the most violent and poorly written ninja movies of all time.

Here are some important observations that illustrate why he is a cool brother:

• He's a good guy. I don't mean that nonchalantly, I mean that he is a kind, purposeful person that cares about other people.
• He's a bit of an internal processor, which is fun because he can seem quiet at first, but he's really quite friendly (and funny) and usually reserves his comments until he has something meaningful to say.
• He is an AMAZING musician. If you ever have the chance to see him perform live, you should definitely check him out. Here are some pics taken from one of his last gigs: http://distopher.com/Jazz-at-Old-City-Hall/The-Original-Senn-Jazz-Band/11728978_6YodS#827772328_GWBJv
• When we were very small, he once sat for what felt like an hour or more, teaching me how to draw ninja turtles on the floor of his bedroom.
• Talking with him on weekends is one of the highlights of my week.
• Since he's a deaf studies major, we've volunteered him to teach our baby cooler baby signs than those mentioned in our book of baby signs. Also, babies love him.

So, brotha, I'm sorry that we live in a different time zone and couldn't be there to celebrate with you, but know that we're excited to see you soon! Happy birthday!

The top 5 best movies of all time

Have you ever really thought through what your five most favorite movies are? I think because there are so many movies it would be difficult to decide one just one favorite movie, but what about 5? Maybe some of you have played the game where you have to decide which 5 books you would have with you on a desert island? Well, I challenge you to decide, if you were deserted on an island with only a portable DVD player (and a big battery) which five movies would you take with you?

In my down time the last couple weeks I've found my mind going back to this question and I feel like I am finally ready to answer. So without further ado, here are Jonathan's top 5!

1. Contact - I'm not sure what it is about this movie but I can't not place this at number one. It is one of the most scientifically accurate movies ever made, and has some amazing acting by Jodie Foster and Matthew Mcconaughey. However, when it comes down to it, it is number one because it evokes an emotion deep withinme that I actually can't even name.

"I guess I'd say if it is just us... seems like an awful waste of space."

2. Raiders of the Lost Ark - Does this even need explaining? This is the ultimate adventure movie. The hero, Indiana, is both brilliant and the luckiest man alive. Throw in a priceless religious artifact, Nazi germans and great female lead and you have Raiders. This excited my desire for adventure when I was a child, and now as an adult I can still watch it and remember what it felt like to want to grow up to bean archeoligist with a whip.

"Asps... very dangerous. You go first."

3. When Harry Met Sally - Wait, what? A rom-com on a top 5 movies list? Yes people, that's right. Arguably one of the best written comedies of all time. Dialouge so fast, and so witty that Billy Crystal is the only actor who could have pulled off the amazing complex character of Harry. Jenn and I have watched this movie dozens of times, and we could easily watch it once a week for the rest of our lives. It is our favorite movie to watch when we are away from home on a trip and want to feel at home.

"Look at that, I said I was going to let it lie and then I didn't."

4. Lost in Translation - This movie is extremely unique. Just like number 1 on this list, this movie makes me feel deeply, and I can't even label exactly what those feelings are. I don't think any other movie has so beautifully captured what it feels like to feel out of place. This is another one of our favorite movies to watch when we can't travel, but wish we could. We love to feel out of place together, and this movie allows us to experience that without leaving the house.

"Well you figure, you sleep one-third of your life, that knocks out eight years of marriage right there. So you're, y'know, down to 16 in change. You know you're just a teenager, at marriage, you can drive it but there's still the occasional accident."

5. Unbreakable - So why not the Sixth Sense? While the Sixth Sense has arguably the best twist ending of all time, I feel like the brilliant dialogue written by M. Night for this film is outstanding. Combined with cinematography that perfectly captures the tone of the film and you get a movie that is the perfect set up for a trilogy. In addition, Bruce Willis really flexed his acting muscle in creating, what I think, is one of the most complex superheroes I've ever seen on film.

"Its alright to be afraid, David, because this part won't be like a comic book."

Honorable mention

6. Monsoon Wedding - My favorite foreign film of all time, and arguably just as deserving as the other 5 to be in the top 5. But alas, there are 6 movies. Not being from India it is hard to tell how accurate this movie is, but I loved being able to watch this family go through the emotional roller coaster leading up to a wedding. Being able to experience another culture in such a visceral way is truly an amazing experience. (The Namesake could easily of been up here as well were it not so Americanized, but Mira Nair did an great job with both.)

"These are my children, and I will protect them from myself even if I have to."

(Also as an FYI, number 7 would be Castaway, but I had a hard time putting two of Zemeckis' films in the top 5)

So thats the list!! Even now having written it you remember another movie and start to think that perhaps it should have been on the list. Its funny how truly difficult it is to come up with a list like this! I challenge you to think about it, which 5 movies would be on your list? If you know them go ahead and list them in the comments section! Any movie in your top 5 that I haven't seen, is a must see in my opinion if you would rank it that highly.

For the record, I think Jenn would agree with a few of these, but may object to my top two :)

So, what are your top 5?

Frogs and Snails and Puppy-Dog Tails...

Morse code kicks from Dave: "Mom, this is your son. Send more potatoes."

While Facebook has been our baby-update media of choice, I thought I would post an announcement on our family blog as well: we're having a boy!

Everybody, meet David. This image was taken about five weeks ago (16 weeks). As you can see, we caught him mid kata, poised for a front snap kick. (Remember those, Matt? Not from the womb, but from your Dan Verdugo karate days?)

I'm sorry to say that, at this point, this poor child is still without a middle name, but we've discussed some good contenders. I think we should just go with Bronwyn and Jeremy's suggestion (when they were deciding on their first child's middle name) and choose an ASL sign: first name, (super meaningful hand motion), last name.

On a more decisive note, we have registered for baby things! Armed with two books and a scan gun, we inched our way through Babies R Us, scanning items for David's sleeping, bathing, feeding, traveling and playing wants/needs. In terms of the nursery, we're going nautical:

And of course we can't forget about all of the treasures that can be found on eBay and Craigslist:

It's been so fun figuring our how to prepare our nest for this little man! I could write a completely separate, and epic entry about trying to prepare for parenthood, but for now I'll leave you with potential paint colors instead. Those are much easier to sum up in a photo:

Rise and Shine

This morning, for the second time in the last week or so, I am up earlier than expected. This is because the baby is up earlier than expected:) I don't think it's bizarre that there is another person developing within me, but it is bizarre when an internal presence wakes me up... Usually the culprits are external--birds, thunder, the neighbor's dogs. Not so any longer. This morning it was a series of subtle, then not so subtle kick-punches just below my left set of ribs.

Jon can tell you how much I value my sleep, but rising and shining for this little person is not so bad:) It's actually a very sweet way to wake up.

Setting Sale

Friends, there are at least three reasons why today is shaping up to be a spectacular day:

1. It's Friday afternoon

2. The World Cup has begun

3. Team Pagan embarked upon their first yard sale and emerged as champions

Were my joy to manifest, it would look something like this. The search result after typing "happy jumping people" into Google Images. I would look like the person in between the blue and green panel, but rounder, and likely lower to the ground.

This morning before work, Jon and I drove to a yard sale that a friend-of-a-friend was hosting. After 20 minutes of browsing, we walked away with the following treasures:

1. Baby Bjorn

I kid, although I think it would be hysterical and redundant to see Bjorn donning a Bjorn.

The real deal as purchased by us.

2. Lime Bumbo (plus tray!)


3. Complete Set of Baby Einstein DVD's

I know, the recent lawsuit may have indicated that Baby Einstein products won't, in fact, turn our son into the next DaVinci or Mozart, but if they will keep him engaged in his Bumbo while I'm cooking dinner, we'll consider this purchase a win.

All practically new and obscenely discounted! Yes!

I do like the satisfaction that comes from a successful yard sale experience. Great suggestion, Jon!

On: The first of many to come...

It has been so long since I actually authored a post that I feel as though I am a guest blogger here. I am so thankful that Jenn has been so good about blogging this year while I have been in medical school. So why am I writing? Well, I have a story for you :)

A few days ago I was diligently studying for my neuroscience exam (read: not perusing my e-mail) when, out of the blue I got an e-mail! Occasionally they offer us as medical students discounts on tickets for events around town. Most recently we had the opportunity to get Razorback tickets, but unfortunately I didn't get over to the office quick enough and they sold out, but I digress. The e-mail I am referring to was offering discounted tickets to Wicked at the Robinson Center here in downtown Little Rock. An amazing location, and an even more amazing musical.

It occurs to me now that perhaps not everyone here has seen, or heard of, Wicked. It is a prequel of sorts to the classic Wizard of Oz story. I was lucky enough to see Wicked in Manhattan on Broadway, but unfortunately Jenn has not had the chance to see this amazing musical. We said that as soon as we got the chance we would get her to see it, I mean after all, she already has the soundtrack memorized.

So now we are caught up to this moment in time when I get an e-mail selling discount tickets to see Wicked. Victory is at hand! I was all set to head over to the office to purchase these tickets when it occurred to me that perhaps I should check to see when the show was. It is an evening show on November 11th, 2010. Perfect, a nice winter treat for my wife! Then it hit me. Well two things hit me. Have you ever been so excited about an event that when you purchase a gallon of milk with an expiration date past the event it gets real? Well people, they are selling tickets to a show for AFTER our first child will be born. Woah.

No problem right? That is exciting but doesn't change anything. Oh but it does. For the last few years Jenn and I have been blessed with the freedom to do whatever we want, whenever we want to. Dinner? Sure! Manhattan for the night? Absolutely! Everyone who thinks they can go see Wicked in November take one step forward, not so fast Jon Pagan. Thats right people, our expected due date is November 2nd, 2010. A mere 9 days before the show. So alas, we passed on the tickets. So for the first time, our child influenced our life in a very tangible way.

Isn't that amazing? There is absolutely no other reason that I'd rather not be able to take my wife out to a night on the town. My child, will be here in 174 days. My child. So for the first time of many to come, our world has been changed by this little life.

Little one, you rock my world and I can't wait to meet you, and tell you how you've already changed us for good...

Word to My Motha

Today I arrived at Sunday school, met by little girls all abuzz with what they had done, or were going to do for their mothers for mother's day.

"We got my mom a camera!"

"We got our mom a chocolate fondue kit!"

"We're taking our mom out to lunch at the club!" I still do not know what or where 'the club' is, but apparently, it's a very big deal.

This got me thinking about some of the childhood gifts I have gotten my mom for mother's day:

• The classic butchering of her rose bush to assemble a jam jar containing 3-4 semi wilted roses of varying size, exhausted from being man-handled by an eight year old.

• The...well, I'm not really sure what you would call two 4" paper plates hot glued together with the center cut out of one of them to frame a small bunch of dried flowers. Plus bow for the 'wow' factor.

• Lunch out with my mom and sister, where we would lecture her about taking time for herself. Sounds relaxing and not at all obnoxious, right?

You get the idea. My mother is a very patient and gracious woman.

So this year, I thought I would take a moment to praise my mother on the interweb, to explain to you all why she is awesome:

• My mother used to bust out her sewing machine and make my brother and I super-cool bean bags to toss back and forth at each other.
• She endured the aforementioned, poorly planned mother's day gifts.
• Somehow, my mother can survive on less sleep than any other person I know. How does a person work five, 12 hour shifts in a row on an average of 5-6 hours of sleep per night? I have no idea. I believe she is part photosynthetic.
• She worked tirelessly to sponsor things like music events, flute lessons, ballet, school, internships, wedding. Without complaining.
• She always planned (and executed) very creative and fun birthday parties.
• My mom cannot insult people, or swear, to save her life. "These chips are funky!" Whoa mom, let's watch the trash talk.
• If you were to Google her name in Google Images, she is the fourth image to show up on the first hit page.
• She has always been loving and supportive toward her family and friends. She is kind, lovely, funny and compassionate.

I could go on, but all of this is to say that I love my mom and I'm so thankful for her. She really is an amazing woman.

Happy mother's day, mom:)

Why Our Baby May Wear Nothing but Onesies

I'm thinking that someone may need to disconnect my internet at work today if I'm going to get ANYTHING done... Five minute breaks can quickly turn into 15 minutes of surfing the web for cute baby clothing:

One Tornado, Two Tornado, Three Tornado, Four...

I know, this would have been more fun, right? Instead, we watched this on doppler radar:

By now, we should know better than to take the words, "severe thunder storm warnings" at face value. This was one of four tornados that made its way through central Arkansas last night. A family in a city just south of us was able to capture this image before heading for shelter.

Fortunately, we didn't find ourselves in a Helen Hunt/Bill Paxton situation--having to lash ourselves to farm equipment for safety (thankfully--we have neither lashing materials NOR farm equipment).

Instead, we chose a safe room, prayed, sat away from the windows, and prepared to watch the news until 2:00am when the tornado advisories were supposed to lift. I made it until about 10:30pm and then when to bed. Had the paths of the tornados shifted in our favor, Jon would have gotten me and we would have sat in a closet, under our mattress with our Maglite. He stood watch until about 12:30; at that point, the storm cells had scattered or moved on and we were no longer in harm's way.

Stressful night, but we're happy to report that there was no damage to us or our neighborhood!